What is Masculinity? The Psychology and Science of Manhood

"Masculinity is toxic." "A real man is like this." Both sentences are wrong, and neither tells you anything useful.

Most content written about masculinity falls into two camps: either it treats the concept entirely negatively, equating it with violence, oppression, and harmful norms, or it offers superficial advice like "be tough, don't show emotion, dominate."

Neither truly explains masculinity.

This article examines what masculinity is, how it has evolved, why it takes different forms, how healthy masculinity differs from toxic masculinity, and its practical meaning for a man, all through a scientific lens.

What is Masculinity?

Masculinity is the totality of traits, behaviors, roles, and identity patterns attributed to men.

But this definition is deceptively simple because masculinity is not one thing. It takes different forms in every culture, every historical period, and every context.

Sociologist Raewyn Connell, in her comprehensive 1995 work "Masculinities," defined masculinity as a plural rather than singular concept. There isn't one single "masculinity"; there are different forms of masculinity across various cultures, classes, and periods. Among these, she termed the form that carries the most social prestige and power as "hegemonic masculinity."

From a psychological perspective, masculinity is examined on three levels:

Biological level: Testosterone, physical strength, a tendency to take risks, a drive for competition – these are universal tendencies shaped by evolutionary processes.

Psychological level: Autonomy, competence, the pursuit of status, protectiveness – these are cross-culturally consistent traits, though their intensity varies.

Social/cultural level: A society's answer to the question "what should a man be like?" This level changes dramatically from culture to culture and from period to period.

It is very important to distinguish these three levels because the vast majority of discussions about masculinity conflate them.

How Did Masculinity Evolve?

To understand masculinity, it is necessary to grasp its evolutionary basis.

Evolutionary roots

David Buss, in his 1989 Behavioral and Brain Sciences study, examined 37 different cultures. The findings were consistent: men have historically been shaped by selective pressures for resource provision, protection, and status acquisition.

This pressure created certain psychological tendencies:

Drive for status and competition: Acquiring a hierarchical position among other men. This tendency is universal; in every culture, men compete for status, the form changes but the motive is the same.

Tendency to take risks: Taking risks to protect or increase resources and status enhanced mating success. This tendency can lead to both adaptive and destructive outcomes.

Protective drive: Protecting one's immediate circle from threats. This drive, combined with physical strength and aggressive capacity, served an adaptive function.

Pursuit of competence and mastery: Specializing in an area and demonstrating this expertise. This continues in varying forms from hunting and craftsmanship to today's career race.

Testosterone and masculinity

Testosterone is the hormone most frequently associated with masculinity, but the relationship is often misunderstood.

Testosterone does not directly cause aggression. It strengthens status and competitive behaviors, but the form of these behaviors varies by context. High testosterone can manifest as a pursuit of expertise in a surgeon, a drive for performance in an athlete, or a tendency to take risks in an entrepreneur.

Research by Justin Carré and his team (2014, Psychological Science) showed that testosterone can increase both cooperation and competition depending on the social context. The hormone does not produce a fixed behavior; it amplifies the context.

Types of Masculinity: There Isn't One "Manhood"

Hegemonic masculinity

This concept, defined by Connell, is the form of masculinity that carries the most prestige and power in a society. In Western societies, this typically includes: economic success, physical strength, emotional control, heterosexuality, and independence.

But hegemonic masculinity is not fixed. The image of the "breadwinning family man" of the 1950s is very different from today's image of the "entrepreneurial, fitness-conscious, emotionally intelligent man."

Subordinated masculinity

Forms of masculinity that fall outside the hegemonic model. These are perceived as having a lower position in the social hierarchy. For example, male caregivers, artists, and men open to emotional expression fall into this category.

Complicit masculinity

Men who do not fully embody the hegemonic model but benefit from it. The majority fall into this category.

Marginalized masculinity

Forms of masculinity that are socially excluded due to race, class, or other factors.

This classification is an academic framework, but it points to a practical truth: there is no single correct model of "manhood." Every culture and era constructs its own hegemonic model.

What is Toxic Masculinity?

The term "toxic masculinity" emerged in the 1980s within the mythopoetic men's movement. Initially, it was used to describe not masculinity as a whole, but its specific destructive aspects.

Terry Kupers defined this concept as: "The constellation of socially regressive male traits that foster domination, the devaluation of women, and wanton aggression."

Critical distinction: Toxic masculinity is not the same as masculinity. Masculinity is a neutral concept; tendencies like strength, competition, and protectiveness can be adaptive or destructive. The adjective "toxic" describes the destructive form these tendencies take under certain conditions.

Symptoms of toxic masculinity

• Emotional suppression: Internalizing the norm of "men don't cry"
• Fear of seeking help: Rejecting any support that might create a perception of weakness
• Normalization of violence: Legitimizing the use of physical force in conflict resolution
• Hegemonic pressure: Policing other men to see if they are "man enough"
• Devaluation of women: Instrumentalizing or belittling women for status

Why is toxic masculinity harmful?

An important point: Toxic masculinity harms not only women but also men themselves.

World Health Organization reports indicate that the norm of emotional suppression is linked to higher suicide rates in men, the behavior of not seeking help is associated with delayed medical diagnosis, and the normalization of violence is connected to cycles affecting both perpetrators and victims.

Fredric Addis and James Mahalik, in their 2003 American Psychologist study, examined gender differences in help-seeking behavior. Findings: Men are less likely to seek medical, psychological, and social support, and this difference is clearly reflected in health outcomes.

What is Healthy Masculinity?

If toxic masculinity is not the same as masculinity, what does healthy masculinity look like?

To answer this question clearly, several misunderstandings must first be dispelled.

Misconception 1: Healthy masculinity means not showing emotion. No. Healthy masculinity means being able to manage emotions – not suppressing them, but being able to express and control them. These two things are completely different.

Misconception 2: Healthy masculinity is toughness and coldness. No. Coldness is usually an indicator of avoidant attachment or a lack of emotional maturity, not strength.

Misconception 3: Healthy masculinity is the rejection of femininity. No. Masculine and feminine traits exist in different proportions in every person. Having feminine traits does not diminish masculinity.

Characteristics defining healthy masculinity

Purpose and direction: Acting according to one's own values, guided by an internal compass rather than external approval. This is directly linked to the concept of "frame" which we discussed in the what is a dominant man article.

Responsibility: Taking ownership of the consequences of one's actions. Neither seeking approval from women nor blaming others, but owning one's choices.

Emotional maturity: Feeling, expressing, and managing emotions under pressure. Possessing these three skills simultaneously.

Discipline: Managing short-term impulses for long-term goals. This applies at physical, mental, and behavioral levels.

Balance of strength and compassion: Possessing strength but using it for protection and building, not for oppression. Joseph Pleck's research (1981, The Myth of Masculinity) showed this balance to be a fundamental tension in male psychology.

Capacity for connection: Being able to form genuine bonds with both men and women. Isolated masculinity – the "I don't need anyone" attitude – has been associated with toxic masculinity.

Masculinity Crisis: Where Does the Modern Man Stand?

In the last few decades, the concept of a "masculinity crisis" has frequently been brought up. Is this crisis real?

Yes, but it is often misidentified.

The crisis is not: "Men are no longer tough." The crisis is: The traditional model of masculinity no longer provides guidance in a rapidly changing world, but there is no clear model to replace it.

Historical change: In the mid-20th century, the hegemonic masculinity model in Western societies was relatively clear: succeed at work, provide for your family, be physically strong. This model was problematic but clear.

Today, the job market is transforming, gender roles are changing, and relationship dynamics are diversifying. But with this change, men are not given a clear answer to the question "what will you be like now?"

Result: Many men are stuck between two extremes. They either cling to an outdated model, which is becoming increasingly ineffective, or they fall into an identity-less uncertainty.

Healthy masculinity is not built in the middle of these two extremes, but from an entirely different place: from one's own values.

Masculinity and Attraction

Masculinity also has a striking database in terms of its effect on attraction.

David Buss's evolutionary psychology research showed that women value traits consistently related to resource-providing capacity, status, and protectiveness in mate selection. These traits overlap with masculinity, but the mechanisms are important.

Joey Cheng and her team, in their 2010 Psychological Review study, showed that social dominance is established in two different ways: through fear (dominance) and through respect (prestige). In terms of attraction, respect-based dominance creates a much more sustainable and deeper attraction.

In other words, masculine power comes not from being someone who inspires fear, but from being someone who is respected.

We discussed these mechanisms in detail in our articles how to be an attractive man and how to create lasting attraction.

How Is Masculinity Practically Built?

Let's put theory into practice. Building healthy masculinity requires work in four key areas.

1. Building competence

Being truly good at something and working to improve that goodness. The field doesn't matter: work, sports, art, craft. Competence is the most solid foundation for self-confidence and status.

2. Emotional maturity

Recognizing, naming, and managing one's emotions. This means feeling them but not being carried away by them, not suppressing them. Emotional regulation under pressure is perhaps the most critical dimension of masculine strength.

3. Value-based behavior

Clarify your own values and act according to them. External approval — women's admiration, society's recognition, others' respect — is secondary in the construction of healthy masculinity. The primary is internal guidance.

We covered this foundation in detail in the how to build self-confidence article.

4. Culture of responsibility

Taking responsibility for one's actions, choices, and relationships. Moving from a victim narrative — "conditions were like this, it couldn't have been otherwise" — to a mindset that says "this was my choice."

Masculinity Is Neither Toxic Nor Perfect – It Is Built

Masculinity is not fate. It is neither an inherent flaw nor a perfect ideal.

There are biological tendencies: status, competition, protectiveness, risk-taking. These are real. But the form these tendencies take is largely learned, chosen, and constructed.

Toxic masculinity refers to the destructive forms of these tendencies that harm oneself and others. Healthy masculinity is where these tendencies are combined with purpose, discipline, responsibility, and the capacity for connection.

The difference between the two comes from consciousness, not destiny.

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How Does Masculinity Vary Across Cultures?

Masculinity is a universal concept, but its content varies dramatically. Seeing these differences makes it easier to understand masculinity not as something innate, but as a constructed framework.

In Western societies: Individual achievement, economic independence, emotional control, and physical strength are emphasized. The image of the "self-sufficient man" is central.

In East Asian societies: Responsibility, obligations to family, and status within the group are paramount. Position within the family and society, not individual power, is the determinant.

In Mediterranean and Middle Eastern societies: Honor, family protectiveness, and hospitality stand out as strong masculine values. Social reputation is as crucial as physical strength.

In Northern European societies: A more emotionally expressive model of masculinity has gradually become hegemonic. The value placed on the father's role in Scandinavian societies is a concrete indicator of this transformation.

In the Turkish context, masculinity includes a complex synthesis of traditional Middle Eastern, Western, and unique cultural elements. Local concepts like "delikanlılık" (youthful bravery/manliness) are indicators of this synthesis, embodying a unique masculine ideal, but carrying both toxic and healthy dimensions simultaneously.

Masculinity and Mental Health

The impact of toxic masculine norms on mental health is one of the most consistent findings in research.

Studies by Martin Seager and John Barry showed that men's rates of seeking mental health services are much lower compared to women. The main reason for this: seeking help is seen as a sign of weakness.

The results are clear: Suicide rates among men are significantly higher than among women. This statistic is largely underpinned by the norm that "men solve their own problems."

An important distinction: Emotional strength is not about not feeling emotions. Emotional strength is about being able to bear difficult emotions, express them, and seek support when needed. This distinction is one of the critical lines separating healthy masculinity from toxic.

Masculinity and Fatherhood

While discussing masculinity, the role of fatherhood is often overlooked, but in fact, it has one of the deepest connections with masculinity.

Kyle Pruett's work showed that active fathers have strong positive effects on children's cognitive development, emotional regulation capacity, and social skills. Masculine protectiveness here takes its most constructive form.

However, the traditional "breadwinner father" model often reduced fatherhood to merely economic support. This model impoverished both the father and the children. Healthy masculinity encompasses both providing resources and emotional presence.

Fatherhood is also one of the most powerful mechanisms for transmitting masculinity across generations. The model of masculinity that boys receive from their father figure shapes their relationship patterns, self-confidence foundations, and social behaviors. Therefore, healthy masculinity is both an individual and an intergenerational issue.

Masculinity Tests: Who is "Man Enough"?

There's a common dynamic among men: constantly testing and challenging masculinity. "Are you a man?", "Were you scared?", "Act like a man" – these are all forms of masculinity tests.

Where do these tests come from?

Michael Kimmel, in his 2008 work "Guyland," showed that men primarily seek masculinity validation from other men. This pressure of "performing masculinity in front of male peers" is partly the mechanism that reproduces toxic masculinity.

Healthy masculinity is independent of external tests. Who validates "man enough"? Not others, but living in alignment with your own values. This framework is both liberating and much more robust.

In the article Alpha Male Characteristics, we discussed how to break this dependence on external validation.

Masculinity and Women: Polarity

To understand masculinity, one must look at its relationship with feminine energy.

Jung's archetypal theory suggested that every person carries both masculine (animus) and feminine (anima) energy. The balance between these two varies from individual to individual, and awareness of both is crucial for healthy psychology.

However, regarding relationship dynamics, there is interesting research: David Deida's work and subsequent psychological research show that the polarity between masculine and feminine energy enhances attraction.

This means: When masculine energy is strong, feminine energy is drawn to it, and vice versa. This is a biological reality, not a societal imposition. But it must be stated clearly: This polarity comes from both sides embodying their own energy, not one suppressing the other.

Healthy masculinity does not suppress, demean, or try to control feminine energy. On the contrary, because its own masculine foundation is solid, it can create space for feminine energy.

Redefining Masculinity

The discussion of masculinity is becoming increasingly visible in Turkey as well. On one side are those advocating a return to traditional models, on the other are those who declare the concept entirely toxic.

Both are arguing within a false framework.

The issue is not to "save" or "destroy" masculinity, but to build it in a healthy way.

Healthy masculinity is neither toughness nor emotionlessness nor the oppression of women. It is a combination of purpose, responsibility, discipline, protectiveness, and the capacity for connection. This is a gain at both individual and societal levels.

Erkek Benliği's (Male Self's) "From Ordinariness to Elitism" perspective stands precisely here: neither the red pill extreme nor the other extreme that completely rejects masculinity. True masculinity is science-based, practical, masculinity that adds value to both oneself and one's environment.